4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize