? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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