we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
