matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
