when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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