We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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