the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
