is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
