Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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