I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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