I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
