I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
