Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
