Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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