remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
