It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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