Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize