so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
