On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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