ugly people sure do ruin things
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
