just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
