I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
