Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
