At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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