yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
