I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
