i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
soo... how was my night?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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