STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
