Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
can u get pink eye on your cock?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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