my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Acid is not a monday night drug
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
