i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
