i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
