If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
