margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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