the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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