I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
