Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
