Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
