they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
