hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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