The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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