Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
