If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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