I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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