cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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