I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
