on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
