Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
