I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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