the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
