I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
