i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
