I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
