id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
