somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
