You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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