I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
