we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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