We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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