Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize