he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize